2003-06-16

i had one of those serendipitous encounters with a member of the opposite sex. i'm more than kicking myself for not doing something about it. and the thing is it's not the one that got away, it's like, the six that got away.

i'm an idiot.

and i'm also feeling depressed. the feeling empty crying for no reason "maybe you should think about seeing a professional" kind of depressed. i don't know. what's the point of doing that if the every day shit is the same?

my insides hurt. what's left of them. i don't feel like there's much there. i was saying the other day that i'm not complicated. i'm not. i'm basically one big flabby mass of negativity. what's complicated about that? nothing. nothing at all.

i met a man and i blew it. so i have to live that. shake it off. assume he was like all the others who don't really like me that much. that should make it easy.

i feel the need to be incommunicado. i went out tonight and i think that was a mistake.

work tomorrow is going to suck. they're going to put us in a room for several hours and talk about goals.

maybe being an aunt will make me happy.

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