2003-06-05

i am in the throes of pre-menstral dysforic disorder.

i kind of like having an ailment with so many syllables.

so i printed out a preliminary actuarial exam and looked over it while drinking grey goose on the rocks. i figure if i can handle it in a crowded bar while drinking straight vodka, then i should be able to pass it. well, nevermind that i don't remember much. i remember enough to realize what i've forgotten. like conditional probabilities and density functions and the natural log and what not.

but then i started feeling like crap. so i left and called my mom. that meant i had to pretend i wasn't feeling like crap. then i looked for a book for a friend. i went to two books stores and couldn't find it. i was so frustrated that i had to stop for gelato. i had to. now i'm home.

just wandering around on a beautiful spring evening all alone with pmdd was really depressing.

i'm now on antibiotics. kind of a disappointment. but i must state that i have not been on antibiotics in well over 20 years. so i have in no way contributed to any resistant strains of bacteria. well. as far as i know i haven't.

i've been pleasantly surprised by the quality of tv i've found this week. it hasn't been a wasteland at all. thank goodness.

i just want to have a halfway decent summer. i say that every year. well, i think i say i want to have a good one. i seem to be lowering my standards. decent.

i sent a present to that boy. that boy with whom i am on the verge of becoming unnaturally obsessed with ALL OVER AGAIN. i sent him a birthday present. so now i'm all bothered about if he's gotten it or if he likes it. i'm tired. all i want is for him to come here. that's all. here.

i'm not quite sure what to do with myself.

i do know i have to clean up around here.

tsk tsk.

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