2002-10-15

i have to go to a wedding on new years eve. one could easily imagine my feelings about that.

i was out of town. i barely made it back into town. traffic was really super shitty. so i got off 95 and took the nice greeny-mountains-in-the-distancy-blue-skyee route. and it was worth it. a few hours later there was another shooting up the road. so i guess i shouldn't really complain about the traffic i hit.

since the weekend was quiet and since this last shooting took place so close to dc, the local news was quick on the scene. good thing, too. then they could start their shitty "reporting" right away. one guy even said how he'd seen the body. well, good job. they could hardly contain their excitement. they looked like they were enjoying. it was sickening. it was really pathetic. they'd just ramble on with nothing to say really, just talking and talking and saying nothing. i feel so terrible for that woman's family having to look at all this on tv.

work was bad today. one day...

i went out tonight and had fun. came home. felt ok for a while. then felt sad. then felt anxious. i feel my body turning to mush. i'm so disgusted with myself. i feel like i don't have any control over anything.

physically though i feel much better that i had been. almost back to normal.

last night i had a dream about my late grandfather and a derranged priest. no idea what that was about.

i thought my face was starting to clear up, but, well, that was just really naive of me.

previous / next