2002-09-15

tired. tired. tired. and completely unable to think straight. nothing has gone well today. but then nothing has gone on today.

last night i went out with some people and fuck why do people have to talk about their jobs? it's so fucking boring. and i was surprised at some of the totally elitist things i heard. we were in the restaurant forever and after about the third hour i just snapped. i got out of there as quickly as i could. i didn't care that it took an hour to get home. or that it was raining. i walked home, walked by where j works and felt totally miserable. just seeing him.

he's just such an excellent specimen.

i have to be honest with myself and admit that i'm tired of being alone.

a friend of mine was assaulted last night. i hate that it happened to him. i hate that i wasn't there so i could just try to make him feel a little teeny tiny bit better.

tomorrow i really have to start trying to make better decisions. if that's possible.

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