2002-08-26

i've decided that the only way for me to get through this week in relatively decent condition is to get out as much as possible. even if it means spending money i shouldn't spend.

shouldn't i do whatever i have to do to keep from thinking about things that will only make me miserable? i went for what was supposed to be a short walk back to the store to get tp. i got paper towels instead instead of toilet paper when i went by after work. that happened to a friend of mine so i don't feel so stupid. then i went to the bookstore, ran into a friend, made a couple of impulse buys. tomorrow night i might run out to target with another friend of mine. what could be more fun than that? and maybe my brother will call and we'll go out. wednesday it's a birthday dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. thursday...i'm sure something will come up. it has to. it has to.

this time last year, i would be spending a monday evening writing a journal entry about that guy. and about how i feel about him and all kinds of bull shit. that bull shit used to make me happy. that bull shit was like a revelation. now it seems like a monumental waste of time. of course i still have those feelings, but they don't make me happy.

feelings suck, don't they, diary?

shit, i was feeling ok until i starting typing this drivel.

i've had this diary for two years and i still cannot for the life of me figure out why i still have it.

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