2002-08-12

i would really like to take the week off and pop benadryl continuously for four or five days. i know that sounds kind of bad, and i'm certainly not into the recreational use of mind altering substances. however, at this point in my life that's the closest i'm going to get to a nice relaxing vacation.

have i mentioned that i'm rapidly degenerating into a cliche? i suppose that's obvious.

i tried a different kind of smoothie today. that was probably the most exciting part of the day. i got off the metro, walked by the place where the guy i like has apparently stopped working. i felt horrible and pathetic for the next two blocks thinking it was pointless for me to have thought about him anyway since i'm so huge and boring that no one would ever want to go out with me. how would i know this? why would this occur to me? because that's the way it's always been. that may not sound rational, but it is. nobel laureates have said so. then i went to the horrible shopping center in my neighborhood that has a billion outdoor speakers and they constantly pump this noise pollution 24/7. i thought about getting a dvd. changed my mind. went for the smoothie.

i'm waiting for someone to prove me wrong. i want someone to show me that i'm wrong about humanity. wrong about men. wrong about myself. but i don't think that's going to happen.

well, since i played tricky for an hour and a half before typing this, my arm hurts like hell.

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