2002-07-15

hmmm....vodka. i usually only drink vodka for two reasons. first, it's the fastest surest way for me to get a buzz. and that helps with the second reason. i drink it when i want to do something that requires a buzz. that could mean i might need an excuse if i'm planning to do something potentially embarrassing. "oh, well. i didn't mean to do that. i was drunk! i'd had all that vodka!" when i of course meant to do whatever i'd done. i also need that buzz if i'm all twisted up on the inside and there's a gorgeous man in front of me. i am a geek. i get tongue tied. vodka always works for me in these situations. don't get me wrong. i pay for it. dearly. which is why i have this love-hate thing going. but basically all i'm trying to say is i drink it when i'm on a mission.

mission accomplished.

i carried on a totally coherent conversation with a man better looking than mr. c. bale. YES. i kid you not. and didn't sound drunk or like and idiot. and after ages and ages he knows my name. why? for the first time in years i was like "here's my card" in a totally pseudo business contact kind of way. so at least now he knows my name. that's something. i don't care what he does with the card. i don't care if he thinks i'm old. i do care if he thinks i'm a lesbian. people there seem to think so. i don't care if anyone else thinks it. 9 times out of 10 seeing him makes me all silly and giddy (on the inside).

anyway, i'm proud of myself. i had a crappy day. i did what i needed to do. i feel better. for now. until the hangover starts and with vodka that's usually before i make it to bed. no, wait...it's happening now. right now. gotta jet.

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