2002-07-13

i'm in the midst of a meltdown. and i've got a caffeine headache that's making me go blind.

tomorrow i've got to go to a thingy where someone shows me some stuff and, although i'm under no obligation to buy, someone will be trying to sell me something. i'm going to go and be polite and pretend to have fun. and i'm going to eat. when i'm done i'm going to target where my current emotional state will result in the purchase of shit i don't need. i'll spend the whole day thinking about that boy who isn't thinking about me. ok, not the whole day. for one minute every hour i'll think of that other boy who doesn't want me. then about all the men i've met in my life who wanted one thing or another from me, but not me. but considering the current state of "me", i suppose i can't really blame them.

did i mention that my head hurts?

playing video games all afternoon probably made it worse. then there's the time i've psent in front of the computer. i'm finally working on my site. i think i've got the colors down. it's only taken a year. congratulate me. if i'd only known i was going to have such an amazingly bad day, i would have gone home. i should have seen this coming. i think i did, actually, but i had no idea it would be this bad. none.

my piece of shit stereo isn't working. well, the cd changer isn't working. and it's a serious pain in the ass.

if someone were to come along and drill a hole in my head, i don't think i would mind.

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