2001-07-04

holidays centered around meals are the best. 'cause all you have to do is show up and eat. holidays like today or like new year's suck ass. why? 'cause you have to plan and go somewhere and do something and everyone expects you to be happy and celibrate and it's usually just a big fucking let down. not even a let down, just annoying and disappointing even by the standards of a regular evening. that's because you're forced to try too hard.

i can hear the fireworks downtown right now. a capital rainy fourth. it is pouring in dc. if i walked outside right now i could probably see the top edge of it. just like last year and the year before and the year before. screw it.

we went out to dinner. i did not want to sit outside. it just made me really uncomfortable. then when it started raining (like "duh") , we had to go inside and cram ourselves at a table in the bar area next to this girl with over processed hair that kept flipping it in my face. she was actually telling pollack jokes. i didn't think people still did that. what a fucking cow.

my meal was good, but over cooked. all that shit just made me cranky and once I start there's no going back.

yet again i realize that i would have been happier at home. no bother to anyone. no one to bother me.

and it was like a couples skate. i hate that. fuck that.

I got a nice email from frenchpress. To which I must say this: Melissa, you are my only regular reader, if you can't figure out who I'm talking about now, you will eventually. We'll see how that whole weekly thing goes. I think it's a good idea. I think it will help. Oh, and happy birthday!

Well, I'm going to have some lemon tea with a shit load of sugar and bourbon. If that doesn't help my mood, I'll be too drunk to care.

ever since that bastard fuck head got elected, every holiday or big downtown DC event has been seriously rained on. GOOD. It's a sign.

work tomorrow. great.

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