2003-01-22

just wrote a pissy letter to my rental office. pissy letter writing is SO satisfying.

i'm so pissy in general that i really do need an outlet for it.

still no word on lunch. but he wasn't working tonight. if i'd kept my ears open the other night i could have picked up some pertinent info. i know he travels for work. he could be anywhere. i'm still feeling good about the situation though. i'm just so curious about him. ok, that's putting it mildly. i'm not entirely sure what i want from him. sometimes i'm like "eh" and sometimes i think to myself "i'd do anything". and i would. given the opportunity, i like to think i would just go for it.

i picture myself being good natured about it. even if nothing happened. even if it were a complete disaster. that's how i'd want to be anyway.

i guess what i really want this at point is to be able to hold a conversation with him without feeling like a total dork. without him making me nervous. i'm nervous enough as it is.

why don't i listen to ok computer more often? i love this cd.

i'm tired of this cold.

abstenance is a joke. how do expect people to go through life without knowing about stds? how can guarantee that virgins will marry virgins? how can anyone think that kids aren't doing other stuff just because they're not fucking? they're doing everything else and still getting stds.

how can the CDC NOT give out information on diseases???

i could go on. but i'd probably just throw up.

how can we be going to war when this country is so completely fucked up?

we really HAVEN'T come that far.

people make me sick.

(sigh)

i'm going to listen to some music. have some spiked hot chocolate and try to relax. and try to remember that there are some nice people on the planet. i'm not one of them, but they're out there.

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