2003-01-21

well.

here i am.

i spent a couple of hours sorting out my cds and cleaning that area. which isn't that big. and yet it took me two hours. how long would it take to clean the whole place? forever.

emailed that boy today. didn't hear back. but i absolutely MUST LET IT GO. i can't let anything stop me from being abole to go where i want when i want. i'm going to see him. i can't let this shit bother me. i can't take it personally.

that said, i don't think i could feel much worse about things in general, so i invite him to do his worst. i'll hardly feel it. i'll be too busy stressing about this apartment and finding a new one. and that job and finding a new one. he could ignore me. worse, he could stop undercharing me.

at the margin i couldn't make that much difference.

WHAT'S ONE MORE MAN WHO DOESN'T LIKE ME? there have been so many. one more shouldn't bother me much at all.

i'm pretty wound up.

not a good feeling.

i hope i can sleep.

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