2002-11-11

i had a really great weekend. so of course today was a nightmare. i almost lost. my boss pissed me off and i went to type a bitchy email to my friend and accidentally addressed it to my boss. i caught myself, but that was a serious lapse on my part. not good. kind of scary.

oh, and i can't forget the roach in the bathroom this morning. at leas this one wasn't in the shower with me.

saw luna friday. excellent show. i don't think i've ever heard them sound better. late painful night, but worth it.

i'm going to be an aunt. that's amazing news.

i'm tense. and bored. and bored. and tense.

and still pining after j. i just found out that he's my age. here i was thinking he was a few years younger and why would he like an old lady like me? but he's my age. i need to do something about that. i've decided to ask him if he has a girlfriend. if he does, i can take that disappointment and/or emabarassement (depending) and use it to forget about him. i actually mentioned him to that other guy. which is serious progress. i don't think i'm in love with him anymore. kind of sad really, but well, life goes on.

the thing about this amazingly sexy man, is that all this is completely rooted in my subconscious. it was my id that pointed him out to me. and that won't let me let it go. i never thought about him but then if i saw him i'd have a dream about him. it never failed. it was bizarre. then he cut his hair and became dead sexy. the dreams continued. they only stopped when i thought about him a lot during the day. if that stopped the dreams would start up again. maybe there's some explanation. that said, i've never been this attracted to someone before. it's unusual and it's difficult and confusing. and nerve racking.

i fell down and got a boo boo tonight. slippery side walk. and i was just at the drug store holding first aid cream and thinking that i really should have some. but i didn't get it. who's sorry now?? I AM.

i'm feeling very ordinary. and uninteresting. and unaccomplished.

i shall have to distinguish myself in the field of auntery.

previous / next