2002-09-25

so fifty percent of the time i think there's nothing wrong with me. the other fifty percent of the time i try to figure out what exactly is wrong with me.

i am drunk.

about and hour ago i was happy drunk. now i'm unhappy drunk. because really what's the point of sitting home alone being happy drunk? i was like "why are you in a good mood? alcohol? that's not a good enough reason. take a look around. look in the mirror. nothing to be happy about is there?"

so here i am.

i ran into j at the metro. we walked up the street together. and it was ok. i did ok. a little nervous at first. and he looked great. really nice. i'm just a frump. a short fat boring fump.

this whole thing just kills me. what would he do if he knew the shit that went through my head? pat me on the head. say "that's nice. you're nice. but you're not what i want"

i'm regretting all my alcohol consumption.

work tomorrow-- i'm sorry, work for the next three months is going to suck. i don't know if i'm up for it. i hope lots of protestors show up friday to disrupt the day to day capitolism of dc, because i dont' want to go to the office.

TODAY'S LESSON: KNOW YOUR LIMITS.

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