2002-02-12

all my energy is going into bracing myself for the worst, but of course in order to do that i have to imagine all the worst case scenarios i can think of.

so, no. it's not working.

have i ever mentioned that the last time i dated someone for any length of time? well, it was this time of year. v-day and p-day the same weekend. he spent that weekend with some other woman and then wasted no time dumping me. but the worst part of it all was knowing it would happen and the anxiety associated with it. i chewed a hole into my mouth so deep, it took weeks to heal. so this so called holiday just reminds me of that, and unfortunately i've got a good memory.

i'm wearing my fat pants today.

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