2001-12-20

So it's been a while.

Yesterday was my 30th birthday. It was great. Today all my friends at work were like �welcome to the other side�.

Dinner last night was on of the best meals of my life. I got there with my oldest brother and my best friend before anyone else arrived. Before the friend with the decorations arrived. Oops. They know I�m always early. Should have tried harder OR driven me themselves. My other brother knows the owner (?) who is so cute. So fucking cute. Cute boys and birthdays go together rarely in my life. I asked him if he could recommend a chianti or a merlot and he brought me a wine that was basically both. Perfect. And the food. Holy shit. It was even better than the last time. AND ME! Oh! I was ON. Effervescent. Vivacious. Hilarious. ME. And DRUNK. Felt like shit today but it was worth it. Barely slept at all last night, but I did have a couple of dreams. One very short one about the boy. Short and sweet and the best dream I�ve ever had about him. All the others have just been based purely in anxiety. In this one, I was asleep�well as asleep as you can be in a dream. I�m lying there and I feel someone kiss me. It�s him. He nestles down beside me. I feel him breathing. I feel his hair against my skin. All while my eyes are closed�in my dream. It�s so simple. And I wouldn�t put this in here, but it was so unusual. THEN of course, it becomes a typical dream. That totally sweet moment is gone and turns into something else. I was so surprised when I woke up and remembered it. And I was a little sad yesterday afternoon. I couldn�t figure it out. It wasn�t because I was 30, but it was because he wasn�t here. He replied to the drunken email I sent him last night. It made him laugh. He was probably reading it at the same time I was dreaming about him. I hate waxing all sappy, but it�s my diary, damn it.

previous / next