2001-08-19

ok, so i've been working forever on trying to update this thing...this page...and i'm not happy with it. and it's late and i should go to bed.

i watched six feet under. so depressing. the second episode would seem to be the less depressing of the two, but i found it more so. mostly cause it helped feed my own sense of complete futility. which sense of futility? why the one i'm always writing about.

being broke doesn't help. after i paid all those bills i went to crate and barrel's site and got a wedding present. i know it's not what that person wanted from me, but shit, i can't afford what that person wanted from me. i refuse to feel guilty. i can't imagine my friend being disappointed. that wouldn't be very nice. would it? anyway, the gift has been bought. sent. gone...now i don't have the money for an outfit to wear but as i've mentioned, it doesn't matter what i look like.

i'm really tired. i'm really not happy.

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