2001-07-27

geez louise.

i have to work this weekend, therefore this will be a waste of a weekend.

still kind of frustrated. and confused. mostly i'm tired of feeling this way. it's boring. is this my natural state?

is my natural state one of boredom or am i just bored with my usual state of mind? it could be either way. sometimes i think i must bore other people, but i guess that isn't true. i do have plenty of friends who don't seem bored with me.

i'm tired. and there are thoughts rolling around that just aren't going to make it out right now. it hasn't been much of a week. and i don't know how much of it is life in general. how much of it is hormones. how much of it is last saturday. i do know i can always count on being screwed up for at least two weeks after i see that guy. he got bored with me.

i should just throw myself into finding a new job. but i can't just take any new job. i can't take one annoying job after another. am i expected to settle for one less annoying job after another? is that even possible?

would it bother me as much if i had more of a personal life? probably.

i've been keeping this diary for almost a year. nothing has really changed in that year. which is why i stopped keeping journals. i never liked having a record of how stagnant things are. have been. for years.

i need to shake this.

there are some evil kids outside throwing rocks and dirt on someone's car.

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