2003-08-03

i fear i've had too much sugar today.

last night i went to the slots in charlestown. good god, i will never go there on a saturday night again. who know's if i'll ever go again, but if i do...

nickel slots are fun. nickels nickels nickels.

i've resolved to be over than boy once and for all. sometimes i feel so close. especially since i know he'll never feel the same. right now i feel like he barely regards me as a good friend. he does. but it's one of the faith type things. there's never any actual evidence of it. he talks of missing other friends so much, but not me. never, ever me. i'm not worth any effort on his part. that's very disheartening.

man, i'm so full of shit. i know the only thing is another man. and one is not forthcoming.

what's so damn unreasonable about wanting a question answered? maybe i've already got an answer. nah, i don't think so. he makes me unhappy more often than not.

i'm tired.

i'm so bored with myself. a little bit of excitement would do me a world of good. maybe excitment will clear up my face.

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