2002-04-17

man, oh man.

my head is starting to clear. well, it was, and then it got so damn hot. i can't really think straight about anything.

i've got something to do that i keep putting off. i have to stop imagining that boy will ever love me. i don't expect it. but i should even contemplate it. i wish i could have a huge section of my brain removed. yes, he loves me and admires me and cares about me. i just have to remember that. the last few weeks have been hard and it's not going to get much easier any time soon. i almost dread hearing from him. i'm scared of what he'll say next.

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