2002-02-18

ok, I SOOOOOOOO don't give a fuck about what the ice dancing commentator's think. about anything. including ice dancing. who the fuck do they think they are? like they're fucking art critics. like i need their social commentary. WITHOUT EVEN SEEING WHAT IT IS HIS IS DISAPPROVING OF. WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT. "oh I don't approve of the use of dr. king's voice during this ice dancing routine". why is that fuck even there. who cares?

sirens was on yesterday. i really love that movie.

ok. sorry. it's been a while hasn't it? i didn't have a good week. work. of course. i hit a new low. in fact, this is what I'll do. i'll cut and paste an email i sent the boy on the subject. i'll just say it was horrible.

here goes...

i had this meeting with my boss, some other folks and these guys from a software company about posting a searchable database on our website. i'm not sure if i can go into details. i did take notes during the meeting about what a horrible experience it was. for two and half hours my boss did all the talking. she was so excited about having a fresh captive audience. and all she did was demonstrate how out of her depth she was. and how stupid and unprofessional she is. she had no concept of what we were talking about or even about how the software she's been using for years even works. she doesn't understand anything about statistics. she was like this big white FAT fleshy talkative pile of steaming bullshit, A talking errupting volacano of an asshole. just like something out of a william s. burroughs novel. exactly like something out of naked lunch. she would contradict herself. she would put words in everyone's mouths. including me. i was mortified. i was well beyond pissed. i was embarrassed for myself because i work for her. i was embarrassed for the organization because she's been here (as she kept harping on) for 11 years. [one time my dad told a bunch of people the only reason i was alive was because his vasectomy didn't take---this was a billion times worse]There were two other senior staff members in there. They must have felt it. There we were with these three really professional and amazingly patient guys from this company. They handled themselves so well. I was so impressed. I wanted to ask if they were hiring. Those 2 1/2 hours where the absolute low point of my 2 1/2 years here. the software was obviously very powerful, and she just kept repeating her stupid objections to it, even though she had no clue about it. then after the meeting when she discovered she really has no say in the purchase of the software, she came down to my office and told me that i'd be the one using the software for a demo at our next conference, like she was presenting some magical gift to me when really she's been dangling this in front of me for years. it's what she holds up to all the new hires. i was so angry. i can't even describe it. i know i complain about this place a lot, but this really was the worst experience i've had here. i wish i could explain it to you better.So today I get to work and there are cookies and my favorite candy from her on my desk for this wretched holiday. I'll be damned before I even touch them. I will throw them away. I will throw it out before I accept anything from that crazy ass bitch.

end

i h a t e h e r.

which is why I took of Friday and Tuesday. I've been reading and sleeping a lot. I need it. Trying to exercise. Made some lasngna. Oh, got drunk tonight. I'm kinda ripped right now. Good for me.

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