2001-09-08

it is so amazing how much shit i manage to bring on myself.

i, being a completely dumb fuck, have lost/misplaced/thrown out and/or pissed away two perfectly good and moderately expensive concert tickets. i've been looking for days. i just looked in the lint trap to see if i'd washed them. i'm done looking for today. tomorrow i'll check all the truly impossible places. i'm tired of looking around and having to really look. i feel like shit about it. i feel like it's symptomatic of a larger problem, the eternal question. will i ever manage to get "my shit" together.

and people will say "these things happen" or "i do stupid shit all the time" but it doesn't make me feel any better.

and of course if i'm feeling bad about one thing, it usually follows that i'll feel bad about anything and everything i can.

i had this one thing i was looking forward to. poof! gone. and it's all my fault.

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